Around that time, I stumbled upon a plethora of TikToks about about how people were manifesting what they desired, and how the law of attraction works. I will admit, though, that I had never believed in such concepts. But during this uneventful time in my life, I was desperate for a glimmer of hope, I decided to delve deeper into these ideas of manifestation and affirmations. Perhaps it was desperation that drove me, or maybe a tiny spark of curiosity, but regardless, I accidentally embarked on a journey of self-healing when, in reality, my intentions and expectations of the process were quite different.

If I’m being very honest with you, not everything I manifested has come to me. Maybe it was because my subconscious didn't want the materialistic things or the other aspects of life that I was envying at the time, but instead, just the simple desire to be happy! It was more so the habits than the manifestations themselves that had made all the difference.

I began with the very difficult task of meditating (I know, I know it sounds cliché, but I promise it helps). I’m naturally a very distracted person, and it takes the efforts of the whole world to help me focus. So when I started meditating, I found that guided meditations from podcasts and wellness instructors like Lavendaire became my refuge, offering solace in moments of chaos. It gave me time to relax, compose myself, and forget about everything else that was happening in my life. The time I spent doing this was for me and me only; and the more time I spent on focusing and observing my body, the less I was worried about the potential outcomes.

As opposed to complaining about the things that didn’t happen and the things I didn’t have, I was trying to be grateful for what I already had. I remember my first time practicing gratitude; I picked up one of my college notebooks, flipped to the last page, and jotted down all the stuff I was most thankful for. You’d be surprised how many things the average human really values if given enough thought. This not only helped me value and cherish my life but also made me realize I was just being, well… ungrateful. But I'm also glad because it made me lose the negative mindset that didn't really serve my purpose.

Furthermore, failure was something that didn't bother me anymore; I was okay with it! I accepted the fact that there are some things that are just out of my control and that to be content, I must make peace with it because, let's face it—if it is inevitable, you might as well take it with a pinch of salt!

To really manifest something, intuition, and confidence are kind of important, and that makes self-confidence (and in a way self-love) a necessity to believe in yourself. Since I lacked it, it was normal for me to be feeding into a lot of self-doubt with the decisions I made and being insecure about how I looked and the life I was living. I realized that if I didn’t give myself the credit I deserved and trust my gut, I would never be confident about the things I do.

You see, there was always a part of me that craved validation or at the very least acknowledgment from the outside world. It felt so much better when I recognized my efforts and ceased the want for external validation. A very common theme that I found in myself and the people in my life for the longest time was the act of settling. This newfound genuine love for myself also sparked the thought of never settling for less than what I was worth.

In wanting to step into the realm of manifestation, where intuition and confidence reign supreme, I found myself lucky because even though I wasn't looking for it, I ended up needing them to overcome the rut I had found myself in. So, I guess what i’m trying to say is manifestation or no manifestation, self-assurance, confidence, and acknowledgment of the work you put in (and really believing in it,) is all you need to feel happy, if not content!

Hope this helped even in the littlest form possible! And (I hope not, but) if you are going through a similar situation, hang in there, these feelings aren’t permanent!

Much love, Rhea